– Anne Duvaux
There are gray areas when defining cheating in a relationship. It’s important to know when to draw the line if you’re the perpetrator or how to tell if your partner is cheating on you.
This article sheds light on the different types of cheating in a relationship and what constitutes infidelity.
What is cheating in a relationship?
Webster’s dictionary defines infidelity as the act of having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone other than your partner.
Cheating or infidelity is not clearly defined as it can involve several things. It goes beyond being sexually involved with a person that isn’t your partner and can include having a deep connection with another person.
Simply put, cheating is being unfaithful to your partner.
There are different types of cheating in a relationship, and it doesn’t only involve physical affairs. Instead, cheating seeks sexual intimacy, emotional attachment, or gratification from someone other than your partner.
What is considered cheating?
What is cheating in a relationship? What constitutes cheating is dependent on the expectations of the relationship.
Except stated otherwise, a relationship is bound by exclusivity, and a violation of this can be considered cheating.
What is considered cheating and the types of cheating in a relationship can vary depending on gender, although some studies show the differences are rather small.
So let’s first start with what women consider cheating.
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Actions women count as cheating
A study revealed specific actions women count as cheating. The different types of cheating in a relationship, according to many women, include
1. Active online dating profile
Keeping your online dating profile active can imply infidelity even if you haven’t gone on a date yet. However, an online dating profile means you are keeping your options open.
This disrespects your partner and shows you are not exclusive in the relationship.
2. Being emotionally attached to another person
Giving your attention to another person (other than family and friends) can count as cheating for certain women. For example, do you share your innermost thoughts and feelings with someone else such that you feel deeply intimate? If you do, then most women will consider that as cheating.
Going to your friends for emotional support is not wrong, but your partner should remain your confidant.
3. Sending flirtatious messages
In the above study, 60% of women considered sending flirty texts to somebody other than their partner as cheating. You’re crossing a line with the person receiving the texts and implying that you are available to take the relationship further.
In the above study, 60% of women considered sending flirty texts to somebody other than their partner as cheating. You’re crossing a line with the person receiving the texts and implying that you are available to take the relationship further.
Other acts women can consider as cheating include:
- Going to dinner with someone you have had feelings for
- Visiting a strip club alone or with guys
- Keeping constantly in touch with your ex through phone or social media Keeping constantly in touch with your ex through phone or social media
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Actions men count as cheating
The following are actions most men consider cheating:
1. Sexual intimacy
A 2014 survey by Victoria Milan, an online dating site, stated that 72% of men take sexual affairs more seriously than emotional ones. They are less likely to forgive their partners for being sexually involved with another person.
Men rarely view emotional attachment as cheating and are less likely to be bothered by it.
2. Not being exclusive
Men can consider an online dating profile as cheating. An online dating profile screams infidelity and signifies that you’re leaving your options open. Research at BBC shows at least 40% of men consider having an active online dating profile cheating.
10 most common types of cheating
There are different types of cheating, and it is easy to succumb to one if you don’t know the difference. Here are the common forms of cheating in a relationship.
1. Cheating sexually
This is one of the most common types of cheating in a relationship. This entails sexual intimacy with somebody that isn’t your partner. It is being unfaithful to your partner and is a breach of a couple’s sexual exclusivity.
Being sexually intimate with a person, not your partner is the most obvious sign of cheating. In most cases, this leads to a breakup.
An apparent sign your partner is cheating on you is if your sex life has taken a downturn. They will most likely not be interested in physical contact with you.
2. Online affairs
An online affair is one of the forms of cheating. It is a relationship with intimate and sexual undertones that thrives online through texts, calls, and video calls.
The parties may not even know themselves apart from the basic information such as age, profession, and physical appearance from pictures shared.
The parties involved in an internet affair may never meet each other, but their connection can affect their committed relationship. An online affair can evoke feelings of jealousy and anger in a partner. Cyber infidelity can be regarded as betrayal and can break the trust in the relationship.
3. Financial infidelity
This cheating occurs when a partner doesn’t come clean about their spending or savings. For example, they could be going over the monthly budget to purchase gifs for their secret lover and, as a result, will hide their financial statement from their partner.
Other reasons for lying about their finances can include a gambling problem, substance abuse problems, and even compulsive shopping. Financial infidelity also entails keeping secrets from your partner and breaking their trust in you. A cheating partner will spend the savings and even put you in debt, and the worst part is that they will hide it from you.
4. Emotional cheating
This involves being emotionally attached to someone other than your partner. This type of cheating is easily forgiven because it doesn’t include physical intimacy, but it can also ruin a relationship.
When you’re emotionally involved with somebody, that person takes the role of your confidant, leaving your partner in the back seat of the relationship. Emotional cheating examples involve always confiding in someone other than your partner. This, of course, amounts to cheating and can make your partner feel left out of the relationship.
5. Fantasizing about someone else
It is normal to occasionally and briefly fantasize about a person you find attractive. But letting your mind wander and dream of acts that can lead to action can be considered cheating.
Spending hours daydreaming of somebody you find attractive will push you to act on it. Also, fantasizing will lead to dishonest and immoral acts or can take your mind off your relationship.
You’re fantasizing about something that isn’t real and comparing reality to a dream. This can have disastrous consequences on your relationship.
For example, if fantasizing about your doctor will lead you to multiple trips to the hospital and lying about your location to your husband, you’re cheating.
6. Physical affair without sex
Many people ask, “Is kissing cheating when in a relationship?” Just kissing someone who isn’t your partner can be regarded as cheating. You can’t escape the consequences of your action by saying, “We only kissed; we didn’t have sex.”
Participating in activities like foreplay or kissing someone other than your partner can still be considered cheating. However, the fact that sex wasn’t involved doesn’t make it any less hurtful for your partner.
If you are confused about what actions can be considered cheating, it is best to talk it out with your partner. Relationships vary, and it is best you and your partner put all cards on the table and determine what actions will be considered cheating.
7. Having romantic feelings for someone else
Having feelings for someone other than your partner can be considered cheating if such feelings are acted upon. This can be done by devoting your time to them and spending your savings to buy them expensive gifts.
It’s hard to control your feelings, but on the other hand, you have power over your actions. So, seeing the person you like behind your partner’s back and being secretive about your relationship with the person can be regarded as cheating.
There is no need to feel guilty over having feelings for someone else as they can’t be controlled. But it calls for a proper re-evaluation of your whole situation before it leads to problems.
You also need to realize that for your emotions to count as infidelity, you have to act upon them without giving considerable thought to your partner.
8. Pouring your time and attention into a hobby
You can cheat on your partner with a hobby or interest. Devoting your attention and time to a hobby instead of your partner can constitute cheating.
Instead of spending time with your partner, you will play games, engage in physical activities or spend the weekend working.
This doesn’t mean hobbies are wrong; instead, they should be encouraged when done in moderation. Obsessing over an interest instead of giving your time to your partner can cause a rift in the relationship.
9. Micro-cheating
This type of cheating involves developing inappropriate and intimate connections outside your relationship.
This is one of the common types of cheating in a relationship, and it consists of stalking your ex on social media, having an active online profile on a dating site, or flirting with other people. Micro cheating texting examples also involve sending flirty messages.
Micro-cheating is subtle and doesn’t involve physical intimacy. But the lies, secrecy, and betrayal that come with micro-cheating can destroy a relationship.
10. Commemorative fidelity
This type of cheating happens when a person has fallen out of love and has no feelings for their partner. But they remain in the relationship because of an obligation.
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These people justify cheating by arguing that their relationship has fallen apart and that it is not wrong to search for love outside.
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