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Ocholi O. Okutepa, Esq: Being Deliberate In Your Relationship With A Spouse. 
Lifestyle

Ocholi O. Okutepa, Esq: Being Deliberate In Your Relationship With A Spouse.  

Ocholi is a Nigerian, a Legal Practioner, Writer, Relationship Counselor, Youth and Service Development Advocate. He had this to say on building long lasting relationships with your spouse.

Read his thoughts...
When I met Julia in 2003 I had a very faint idea of how deliberate I was going to need to be to sustain what came naturally to me. I loved this girl with everything and everything I wanted was to be with her.
When we began to date and court in 2005, I thought the feeling would blow me like a bomb. I wanted to be with her everytime. Reading o, meetings o, I literally dragged her into my every move, Na only hostels separate us.
Then we left ABU in 2008, off to Akure she went to serve and Abuja held me in Law school. It was hard and if I had my way we would be married that year and cut all the ups and down.
Well, my date with destiny would come and December 2010 was it.
All these years I fell deeper and deeper into the feelings of wanting to be with her but so did the misunderstandings and imperfections deepen. You know, now we live together and lost the patent to privacy.
At this point it occurred to me that being deliberate is how you block off imperfection from affecting feelings.
Deliberate about communicating. Have to decide that missing an understanding does not equal to not being in love. Had to realise that for getting what hurts is how to sustain what pleases. Have to always and consistently choose peace above strife. I could go on and on.
Truth is, I am such a happy man, very happy because we managed by God’s grace to learn the lesson on being deliberate and used that as foundation on which to build the marriage we envision.
This things or anything like it or in life collapses when you think they can run on their own or to how you feel. The deliberate action defines the emotions that follow.
Ocholi is dedicated to ensuring young Africans get it right in their quest for a better, sweeter relationship and love life.

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