– Iniobong Leroi Umoh
“Finally, I can buy whatever I want here because the Naira is very valuable outside Nigeria” I said to myself.
I flew into Ghana and went shopping at a mall in Kumasi. I picked many items and proudly brought out my Naira to pay.
I was told my 10k is worth only 153 Ghanaian Cedis.
I shook my head and flew up north to Libya. I went shopping in Tripoli.
When I wanted to pay for my items, my Naira was rejected. I was informed that my 10k was only worth 35 Libyan Dinar.
Shocked, i flew to the South of the continent and landed in Botswana. I went shopping at a mall in Gaborone and was glad that at last my 10k will buy me everything I wanted.
As I presented my Naira for payment, my money was rejected. I was told that my 10k was only worth 289 Botswana Pula.
I sighed in exasperation and flew East. I landed in Nairobi, Kenya.
“How much is 10k Naira to the Kenyan Shilling?” I asked the cashier at the supermarket before I began shopping.
“10k Naira is 3k Kenyan Shillings” He replied.
I placed my hands on my head and walked away.
I went to South Africa, Tunisia, Morroco, Zambia, Seychelles, Eritrea and Egypt and the story was the same. My 10k Naira couldn’t measure up to their currencies.
Dejected, I flew back to Nigeria.
I started punching my calculator….
If 1 Dollar = 500 Naira
If 1 Dollar = 1.41 Libyan Dinar
If 1 Dollar = 2.87 Tunisian Dinar
If 1 Dollar = 5.4 Ghanaian Cedi
If 1 Dollar = 9.89 Moroccan Dirham
If 1 Dollar = 10.90 Botswana Pula
If 1 Dollar = 13.14 Zambian Kwacha
If 1 Dollar = 14.87 South African Rand
If 1 Dollar = 16.30 Egyptian Pound
Then I don’t want the Naira anymore!
I don’t want the Dollars anymore!
Give me the Dinars!
Give me the Dirham!
Give me the Cedis!
Give me the Pula!
Give me the Kwacha!
Give me the Rand!
Yeh give me the money eh
Biko ye mu ego!