-Richard Bevan
Thousands of patents are granted for new inventions every year in the hope that they will make their creators rich and change the world. While many innovations over the decades – from personal computers to handy domestic appliances – have made life easier for millions, countless inventions have faded into obscurity due to their pointless, or even downright dangerous, nature.
For all the iPhones, virtual reality headsets, deep space rocket engines and self-driving cars that are a part of our modern world, many a crazy contraption was invented along the way. It’s entirely possible the ideas presented below are not the weirdest inventions ever simply because the truly weird ones probably never got close to the light of day or their creators were somehow destroyed in the process. Still, these are some of the strangest fruits of human ingenuity we know.
1. TOMATAN – a wearable robot that feeds you tomatoes. Invented by the Japanese juice vendor Kagome, the robot that sits in a harness behind your head pulls out tomatoes and puts them directly in your mouth as you run. It even has a timer.
2. GROUP SHAVING MACHINE – this 19th-century machine could shave a dozen men at once. One reason for its commercial failure was that it could not alter its movements according to face shape.
As walrus moustaches and beards declined in popularity, it became more socially acceptable for men to be clean-shaven. Because such morning rituals were time-consuming, a culture of stopping off at the barbers for a clean shave and shoeshine became common. The problem was that a barber could only serve one customer at a time.
The solution was a ‘group shaving machine’ which could seat several men in a row, where the first part of the device applied foam to all faces. Then a large blade would be used to trim their facial hair. The device could, in theory, shave 12 men at once. However, its limitations meant the machine couldn’t alter its movements depending on the shape of an individual face, leaving uneven results and at worst, cuts and abrasions from the blade.
3. FLIZ – this foot-powered bicycle without pedals, saddle or any gears, was invented by German designers Tom Hambrock and Juri Spetter. The user hangs on a harness in between two wheels, propelling the bicycle by running, then resting feet on the back wheel.
4.The Urban Window Baby Cage
Invented by health worker Mrs Robert C. Lafferty in 1913, and inspired by an increasing awareness of outdoor fresh air benefits for youngsters, the ‘Window Baby Cage’ was designed as a solution for apartments without a garden or outdoor space. Unsurprisingly, the very idea of putting a precious baby to play in a cage made of wire mesh and hanging outside a widow several floors above street level was too nightmarish for most parents.
5.The Portable Hat Radio
Decades before the mobile wonders of the Walkman, iPod and the mobile phone, the idea of being able to listen to the radio on the move was inconceivable due to the bulky apparatus of early radios. Thought to have been created by an inventor in Berlin during the 1930s, this bizarre apparatus was essentially a straw hat with two large antennas sticking out on top of it.
Despite other versions of the radio hat being made in an array of different materials, none caught on with the public. Not only was it cumbersome but there were issues with radio signals. The invention of the Transistor Radio in 1955 eventually revolutionised listening to radio and music on the go.
6. The Face Glove
Developed in the US at the turn of the 20th century, this eerie-looking mask or ‘Face Glove’ was designed to be used by ladies ‘of refinement’ to beautify and preserve youthful skin, while also removing blemishes and imperfections. Resembling something from a creepy horror film, the main problem with this unproven treatment was its health issues.
Designed for ‘medicinal purposes’, as claimed by its inventor and milliner Madame Helen M. Rowley, the mask was originally made from flexible Indian rubber and meant to be worn overnight. The science behind its claims was that the mask would encourage the opening of pores through perspiration. The masks became popular, prompting other companies to make their own versions. But worryingly, materials such as asbestos, sulphur and lead, were used, making the masks hazardous and causing more skin problems than they were meant to cure.
7. The Dynasphere
Looking like a creation from a vintage sci-fi film, the Dynasphere, invented by a Dr J. A. Purves, was an alternative road vehicle from the 1930s. It was one giant monowheel where the driver sat, along with a passenger, in a cabin mounted on tracks. The head-turning machine rolled as the wheel spun and could reach a top speed of 30mph.
In theory, the weight of the motor and the driver was enough to keep them parallel with the ground. To onlookers, the spectacle resembled a spinning giant donut on the street. Due to a lack of practicability, particularly in comparison to car designs of the time, as well as having no protection from the elements, the Dynasphere never caught on.
8. The Loop-to-Loop Double Bicycle
In 1905, decades before BMX bikes were somersaulting in the air, an inventor called Kay Lang came up with a bicycle he thought could do an impressive loop to loop within a circular track.
Lang designed a double bicycle, which was essentially two bikes welded together with one sitting upside down above the other. The rider sat encased between the two. The idea was that all four wheels could connect with all surfaces as the upper part would take over from the bottom wheels while riding on a flat surface. Little is known about Lang’s experiment but the improbability of the design plus its potential to injure or kill the rider was possibly the reason the invention never passed the patent stage.
9. The Necomimi
This novelty headgear, invented in Japan in 2012, utilises impressive science for what many may see as a frivolous gimmick. The wearer dons a set of large, mechanical cat ears attached to a headband which measures brain waves and allows the ears to react to the wearer’s moods at the time.
When relaxed, the ears droop. When alert and focused, they perk up and wriggle. One drawback apart from the expense is that the Necomimi is also fragile and can break easily, which is why the manufacturer advises not to wear it in the car.
10. The Ostrich Pillow
Possibly inspired by the ‘Isolator’ hood invention decades before, the Ostrich Pillow, funded on Kickstarter in 2012, was designed to allow the wearer to escape the world, whatever their environment, be it at home, travelling or working in the office, in order to catch forty winks or enjoy silent meditation.