Jimoh Esq: Do Not Finish Your Cake Today | A Candid Advice To Young Nigerian Lawyers
-Hameed Ajibola Jimoh Esq
There is a saying that ‘you cannot eat your cake and have it’ meaning that it is commonsensical that when one eats his cake and finishes it, he cannot still have the same cake at his disposal. However, this paper is establishing a sort of an exception to this saying by saying that ‘you can still have your cake tomorrow as many times as you like if you did not finish it today’, hence, this paper advising young lawyers candidly that whenever they have their cake, rather than finishing it in one mouth and eating or wasting it, they should rather remain a part of it for the future so that they could have many opportunities to still eat their cake in future, hence this paper.
First and foremost, the use of the word ‘cake’ in the context of this paper refers to ‘opportunities’ in its wider scope. ‘Opportunity’ according to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, means ‘a good chance for advancement or progress’. Here, I advise young lawyers to always remember tomorrow in their affairs. As young lawyers, some have the opportunities from their parents, family members, friends, etc. in term of finance, connections, etc. to their advantages. Some of them do not know how to utilize these great advantages to their good luck as some of them with due respect, misuse the opportunities and allow them to waste and only for them to regret losing them in future and at that time, it will be too late to come back to have the same cake that they had eaten long time a go!
Furthermore, some young lawyers might be taken away by the wealth of their parents and believe that those riches will exist with them for life! They might even think that they will be with their parents for life or that their parents will be with them for life! Some of them forget that assuming they are ladies, they will soon get married to another house and another family and another man! There and then, it is the beginning of another life entirely for them!
Those opportunities that they have remained will then be useful for them at this stage in life of a new beginning! This luxury at the disposal of some of these young lawyers might be the reason why some of them find it very difficult to secure or get prepared for marriage as soon as possible and forget that they grow old daily and that they cannot remain in their father’s or parent’s house forever! Some of them think of having a continuous luxury in whoever will be their would-be suitor!
They think that those wealth that their parents have accumulated have been accumulated at ease and just in a few minutes! Parents have to always tell the true stories to their children, else, those children are likely not to dream to marry or even if married, will forever not hesitate to seek divorce in order to return to their parents (with no regret) in order to continue to enjoy those luxuries and they might not learn any good thing in life! Truly, it takes the grace of God Almighty for one to acquire some wealth especially considering the economic realities of Nigeria! Some of these young lawyers would have missed and or sent away their real husband while they wallow in fake lifestyle and fictitious dreams of an unending wealth, with due respect to them! It is very pathetic that at the end of the day, some of these young lawyers are likely to marry out of haste to a man who is not of equal status and realities just because the age will not have been at their disposal!
If I must advise young ladies in skirt, with due respect, righteousness in a man with potentials for development and progress should be the foundation of their choice of man for marriage rather than uneven wealth! Many would like a man who has: big car(s), handsomely dressed in luxurious dresses, with houses in Maitama or Asokoro or Apo or Aso Drive, among other better areas of Abuja and a man who can always take them out daily to different or various outings where they expend not less than a hundred of thousands of naira or more daily and who would still buy them expensive materials like clothing, phones, etc. (to boast to their friends) and who would still deposit sum not less than a hundred or thousands of naira, millions of naira, take them around the world in airplane etc in their bank account and also take good care of their feedings, etc!
The question is: how many years will it take an average man to earn all these luxuries at the age of thirty (30) to forty (40) years of age for instance?! Then, such a young lawyer is likely to consider a man who is at his fifties or sixties to have acquired all of these luxuries that she desires! Even if one were to work in an establishment where one is paid the sum of two hundred thousand naira (N200,000.00) only monthly, if one were to spend as a spendthrift as the above scenario created by this paper, how will such a man have savings to bear other responsibilities?! I think, with due respect, a young lady in skirt should rather than learning how to spend the insufficient wealth of her husband, she should rather learn how to expand and increase such wealth (as an economist) so that when the wealth multiplies, then, they can all enjoy same together!
This will only be possible if she does not finish her cake today! It is high time the stop to live a fake or fictitious lifestyle! Some if not many young Muslim ladies, too, would not want to marry a righteous Muslim man because he is already married to a woman and or he does not have much wealth! They call it a ‘choice’ that they make! These ladies are out there seeking a single bachelor in marriage! Especially the one with luxury! My sincere advice for these set of young ladies is that they should understand that the religion which they practise and believe in which is ‘Islam’ allows a Muslim man to marry more than a woman up to a maximum of four (4) under his control at a time! Some men would have also retained a woman if not for one reason or the other that necessitate them to take an addition of a woman!
Being a wife to a man is the focus of a Muslim lady and not whether she becomes the second or whatever so far the Muslim man is righteous, religious, fears God and will take good care of her! And also take note that not all married men are bad men or every polygamous or polygyny home is troublesome or bad! There are those that are established on righteousness and sincerity! This is another cake that must not be eaten and finished today in order to avoid any chance of calamity in future! And if a righteous and rich man is available, it is not also a bad idea to marry such man!
Furthermore, as a young lawyer earns little sum of money, he must always think of how whatever money and opportunities that he has today will be useful for him in few years to come! Even if your parents are wealthy, I think it is not a bad idea that you seek your parents to establish you in good business or to open a law firm or finance the law firm for you that you can manage after you have learnt in a law firm for one or two years and that you have acquired experiences, if your parents can afford it! Your parents could also help in clientele with their connections! Meaning that in very few years, you would have earned a lot of wealth if you are humble and a good manager of your business and the law firm! This in a way is the saying of ‘being taught how to fish rather than always being fed the fish’. Many young lawyers are with due respect to them, in the category of always asking for fish for long without thinking twice the need for them to be taught how to fish on time so that they become a renown fisherman and always feed others rather being fed!
A colleague of mine who is also a lawyer narrated his life lesson to me one day. He said his father was a High Court Judge in Nigeria. He was a spoil son to his father in the sense that he had all the wealth at his disposal. Even when he gained admission in to the university, he was not serious and would drive any car he wanted around the campus with ladies showing feign love! He said that it was dawn on him when his father suddenly died (and that his mother was not doing any work or business)! His father’s family members came around and took over all the property left behind by his father without living anything including all the cars and the houses! He could barely survive in his education in the faculty of law! He had to think twice and turned a new leaf so that he could prosper in his study and to fight for those properties of his late father! This his decision made him to become a lawyer today and I am very sure that he is doing well now as a lawyer!
Finally therefore, it is my candid advice to all of you young lawyers (male and female) to use whatever opportunity that you see today well so that you do not have to regret your actions or inactions in future! Remember too, that ‘all that glitters around you is not gold’! So, do not finish your cake today so that you can have many more of it tomorrow!
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